Thursday, March 25, 2010
Thursday, March 18, 2010
it really is driving me crazy
i have an undetermined amount of time before the power goes out again and i'm plunged into complete and total darkness
the timer keeps on shutting our power off
and then turning it back on
and then shutting it back the fuck down
and i'm sick of it
i want to take this up with toronto hydro and scream and yell and be a little annoying brat
because i can't get what i want
and what i want is to be able to walk around the house without the fear that something unknown and strange will grab me out of the darkness and pull me under
it really is driving me crazy
the days are so nice
the sun is spilling through the cracks of the clouds
i feel pretty good
and i have you again
it's all pretty nice
and i hope it all takes me somewhere wonderful
the timer keeps on shutting our power off
and then turning it back on
and then shutting it back the fuck down
and i'm sick of it
i want to take this up with toronto hydro and scream and yell and be a little annoying brat
because i can't get what i want
and what i want is to be able to walk around the house without the fear that something unknown and strange will grab me out of the darkness and pull me under
it really is driving me crazy
the days are so nice
the sun is spilling through the cracks of the clouds
i feel pretty good
and i have you again
it's all pretty nice
and i hope it all takes me somewhere wonderful
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Thursday, March 4, 2010
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Wednesday, March 3, 2010
"your poem sucks faggoty shit balls"
don't try and edit
don't try and undo the past
even if you can
don't
let it flow
feel the wind
fix your hair
shoo away the flies
don't think
don't listen
just
write
bite
fly a kite
don't look right
just look
left
think about who you want
if you want
where you want
or don't
maybe do
who knows who
what knows what
press the backspace
into hyperspace
my condolences
you're so far
away.
don't try and undo the past
even if you can
don't
let it flow
feel the wind
fix your hair
shoo away the flies
don't think
don't listen
just
write
bite
fly a kite
don't look right
just look
left
think about who you want
if you want
where you want
or don't
maybe do
who knows who
what knows what
press the backspace
into hyperspace
my condolences
you're so far
away.
poetry? not for me.
never looking forward
our tattered hearts collide
we are blind to the future
we cannot look behind
the scars reappear
crooked fences are rebuilt
we stand on one side only
mending rags with silk
bury your head from the regression
it's not for your eyes
when you're falling through the crack
pretend not to realize
in these waters that you've drowned in
ignore your own pitiful cries
our tattered hearts collide
we are blind to the future
we cannot look behind
the scars reappear
crooked fences are rebuilt
we stand on one side only
mending rags with silk
bury your head from the regression
it's not for your eyes
when you're falling through the crack
pretend not to realize
in these waters that you've drowned in
ignore your own pitiful cries
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
i know this girl
i know this girl.
perhaps i don't know her. maybe she doesn't really exist. maybe i'll never see her again. maybe she'll never exist again.
her name is TEMPERANCE. it feels like sugar and snow on my tongue, every syllable, every sound and movement my tongue makes when her name is in my mouth. i can never let it out though, or else the sugar will turn to ash and the snow to fire and my world will spin around my head, although i don't know this yet and perhaps i'll never find out.
i can't wrap my head around this girl, nor can i get her out of it.
i see her heart melt with loneliness and sadness and i want to help her but our hearts aren't meant to collide, neither are our hands meant to touch. i cannot see this girl through anything but a virtual window of sadness, and we cannot speak. we are mute. but we are in love.
she will leave me behind but i know her heart will always ache for me, and i know that her heart will still conjure up images of me, even if i am long gone from her brain. there are too many distances in between us. we are in different places in every way but only time will shake each other out of our minds. soon time will erase the twinkle of sadness in her eyes, the fire in her hair, the drawings and doodles and scars from her skin. her heart will ache. and as for me, i will never learn my lesson. i will remember the words that she spoke to me on that day, when she told me to take that road and to do what i always wanted to do, but the words will seem hollow and meaningless after this is all done and over with. but it will never be done with. the story will have an end, but the end has not come yet.
perhaps i don't know her. maybe she doesn't really exist. maybe i'll never see her again. maybe she'll never exist again.
her name is TEMPERANCE. it feels like sugar and snow on my tongue, every syllable, every sound and movement my tongue makes when her name is in my mouth. i can never let it out though, or else the sugar will turn to ash and the snow to fire and my world will spin around my head, although i don't know this yet and perhaps i'll never find out.
i can't wrap my head around this girl, nor can i get her out of it.
i see her heart melt with loneliness and sadness and i want to help her but our hearts aren't meant to collide, neither are our hands meant to touch. i cannot see this girl through anything but a virtual window of sadness, and we cannot speak. we are mute. but we are in love.
she will leave me behind but i know her heart will always ache for me, and i know that her heart will still conjure up images of me, even if i am long gone from her brain. there are too many distances in between us. we are in different places in every way but only time will shake each other out of our minds. soon time will erase the twinkle of sadness in her eyes, the fire in her hair, the drawings and doodles and scars from her skin. her heart will ache. and as for me, i will never learn my lesson. i will remember the words that she spoke to me on that day, when she told me to take that road and to do what i always wanted to do, but the words will seem hollow and meaningless after this is all done and over with. but it will never be done with. the story will have an end, but the end has not come yet.
bad shittt
so i'm doing really bad in school. i almost failed my report card and i failed this contract and apparently i'm in 'serious danger' of transfering to rosedale, but i'm in denial so i'm refusing to believe that this is true. but i will mend this situation and do better as this contract is better and filled with writing projects which fills my heart with joy.
also it was my birthday a couple of days ago and i officially turned 14 and it was enjoyable.
so that's all that's really new. i think one day i'll sit down and write a really long blog post about shit that's more dominant in my life right now, like how my gym teacher is a duck and my aunt is psycho and whatnot. but my brain isn't really settled down enough quite yet at the moment so many apologies.
x
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