I Stifle Those Shivers

I do so enjoy watching you grow up. I hope you feel the same about me.
Earlier this week the Theatre Department put up a Dinner Theatre and I'd like to think you would have been proud of me. I had an extravagant part as a morose Cockney British woman by the name of Evelyn. I blather on about 'offing meself' and in the last act I die by way of poison coffee. I got many congratulations for my performance and it slightly reminded me of Babes in the Woods however many years ago when we went swimming and ate all those swollamshram and read some awful poetry. That's what I meant about watching you grow up- it's just about viewing the expansion of your vocabulary (ooohhh big words) and your perception gradually widening.
The long and short of it is that I'm sad we went cold turkey. I love those little turns of phrase.
I started drinking again. Woo. Sorry baby, it's too much fun.
First rave of the season is this weekend- In Bloom. I'm just going to go and dance my heart out and make new friends like always, maybe this summer I'll have you with me.

Less than three, The Frenchy Fry.

raging stampedes

screaming gypsies

dancing little girls

soaked up to their knees in beer

and sweat dripping down their necks

the diamonds in your eyes

confusion in your voice

i always have the worst intentions .



another day



too much escaped

now i don't want to panic

but i still feel the pain

down in my ankles

up in my head

as i take another step towards home .



but the sun comes up

it will be on your side .

A Little Less Than Seven Hours

a shiver runs through my body when i think of how much i miss you. -stellar

Alright. Here's the 'other one', the seemingly less dedicated, the sweetheart, the fool. Back when we started this, it was intended to be a line of communication between Stella and myself- Annora, the French Fry- so that we could stay connected though we are some 2931 kilometers apart.

It's so much simpler to say vast, vague things than the simplicities that I want to tell you. Here's some basics.

I deleted my Facebook account because I was afraid of being addicted to it.

I'm getting a little more lost every day. I went swimming last night at about eight. In the lake. I was debating whether or not I wanted to go in for the moment, for the experience, or so I could have a shocking story to tell on the bus the next morning.

I jumped in regardless, and enjoyed the way my body went into overdrive trying to warm me up in the minutes after I came out. Then I spent about half an hour sitting on a huge rock singing to myself about a girl I like.

so it didn't take me anywhere great

and i'm kind of stuck at square one
with nothing to keep me attached to you
or anybody else for that matter
it's just kind of like
where do i go now
you know?
because nobody asked for any of this
you didn't
i didn't
we just sort of drifted apart
and i told you to remember
and you told me to forget
and i saw you dip your toes in
but then you got your whole foot wet

so yeah
fuck
i'm not sure what i'm going to do now
but i'm sure it'll all be fine