dear world

dear world.
please stop making me so lazy that i depend on other people to set my goals for me. please stop making me so irresponsible that i demand that other people take responsibility for me. please give me back the ipod touch that i lost. please make me emotionally satisfied here in this big scary city that i can't make sense of.

so lately i've been less than balanced, outwardly of course. i've been trying to tone myself down but it's hard and the more i talk about it the more i sound like chuck klosterman although that's not necessarily a bad thing. i started rereading killing yourself to live, and the first thing i did halfway through was tell a friend that he needed to read it because it was an amazing book. which it is, so to any forsaken human who happens to be reading this, please read killing yourself to live by chuck klosterman.

anyways, a whole lot of things have been going on in my life and it's pretty ridiculous and some of it is not too great. i went to an open house for a high school last night and my friends were being embarassing. so no etobicoke school of the arts for me. maybe i'll do it anyways and try to challenge myself, but i'm already pretty challenged here at delta, which is pretty much a school for dumb kids. this is part of the reason why i am sad all the time and feel like there's a big black cloud hanging over me. one of these days i'll get around to making sense of all these things that are bugging me, and then i'll write them down and maybe i'll even turn it into a story. for now i'll just read more chuck klosterman and listen to some more witchcraft and think about how to metaphorize my entire life, and how that would require a lot of organizing mentally. so whatever.

today is contract due day, where i turn in my contract from this term and if i have allll my work handed in which i'm pretty sure i do, i will be able to leave school and go out and hang with my buddies. but fuck you anyway. life sucks. blaaaaaaaah fuck it.